Recently a neighbor asked me how often Paddy attends preschool. I told her that he attended twice a week for three hours each day.
"That's great!" she exclaimed. "You'll get so much done."
Right, I thought, I will drop my preschooler off, return home with my baby and get so much done.
On Paddy's first day of preschool my mother and I dropped him off and spent the morning in Northampton, a neighboring town with shops and cafes. I wrapped the baby on my chest and he immediately fell asleep. We ate pastries, drank coffee and shopped. After picking up my toddler we had lunch and returned home where my mother and children napped and I surfed the internet. My husband returned home to a dirty kitchen and a happy wife.
I have to admit that I haven't quite figured out the balancing act of being a stay-at-home mom. Yesterday, for example, as I was changing the baby, my toddler called out to me. "You know you have to take care of me too." Yes, I do. And myself, the baby, my marriage, the household and the shopping (fortunately my husband cooks).
I mistakenly thought that being home full time would make managing the home easier. In fact I feel more pressure to keep the house clean and find that it is so much harder when a toddler is at home all day. Forget about finding time for myself. Alone time mainly includes trips to the grocery shopping or to Target.
As I was driving home from Target the other day (alone) I wondered what I would do with a whole day to myself. I could put away all of my son's 4T clothing and store his 3T clothing in the attic. I could get the huge bin of clothes in the nursery sorted and put away. I could mop the kitchen or dust the living room.
"You could make an ice sculpture" my husband said when I told him my thoughts on alone time.
I could do that. I could also read a book or give myself a pedicure. I could spend hours basking in the sun and drinking coffee.
I probably wouldn't, but I could.
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