Laughing through the Chaos

I stood in a parking lot behind a Royal Farms gas station. My hands were on my toddler's shoulders and my eyes were scanning the parking lot. I was three minutes away from my sister-in-law Jen's home in Maryland. As I looked at Jen, who was sitting in the passenger seat, I noticed tears streaming down her face. I looked down. Paddy was urinating in a perfect arc into a storm drain three feet away.

After eight and a half hours in the car and three hours of broken sleep, I agreed that an outing with a four-month-old, a six-month-old and a three-year-old sounded good. It was a beautiful fall day and so Jen and I packed them in the car and set out for a shopping plaza "15 minutes away."

About two minutes into the ride, Captain America fell to the floor. I weathered the tantrum that followed. It was easier than pulling over on a four-lane highway and climbing into the rear of our RAV4 to find it. The tantrum ended and then Gabo, our six-month-old, took over. His fussing quickly escalated to heart-wrenching sobs that lasted the duration of our much-longer-than-15-minutes trip.

"Maybe it is a little farther than I said," Jen said. "You do drive slower than me."

I assured my sister-in-law that it was fine, despite being crammed into the car, driving unfamiliar roads on little sleep and little caffeine. We'd have to get there eventually and then everything would be o.k., right?

We finally pulled off of the highway and stopped behind a long line of traffic. Missing the first green light, Jen felt confident that we would get through the next. The car in front of me was small enough for my SUV to push if necessary. I have four-wheel drive and could make it over the hill of a median in the middle of the road. We would get through that light one way or another.

I parked and jumped out of the car as soon as we arrived. Gabo quickly settled into his wrap and sniffled the last of his sobs. He was red-eyed, but no worse for the wear. Paddy, on the other hand, was asleep.

"I'm not getting out of the car," he yelled after I gave a him a soft nudge. "Take me home!"

My usual tactic of gently rousing him  had flopped. There was no way I was putting Gabo back into the car. I pulled out the big guns and offered him both a treat and a toy if he would get out of the car.

Saddled with wraps, diaper bags, purses, a stroller and three small children, we headed to Barnes and Noble. Soon Paddy had his treat and I was able to nurse the baby. For 10 precious minutes all three children were settled and relatively happy.

Then Jen's baby started to fuss. But we soldiered on.

Carter's was having a 50 percent off everything sale and our stomachs were grumbling. After shopping and lunch my niece was tired. Jen carried her to the car and warned me that the ride home would be bad. We prepared for the worst and were pleasantly surprised when both babies rode peacefully, entertained by my toddler. It seemed we would make it home.

And then: "Mama, I have to pee."

Paddy agreed to wait a few minutes to get back to Jen's house.

And then, he began to wail. There was no time to think. I quickly cut across the right lane of traffic fully aware that I was being called a masshole by the driver I cut off. I pulled over and got Paddy out of the car and he soon found a storm drain to pee in.

When our husbands arrived home later that day we recounted our days. They expressed pity for us. It sounded like our day had been terrible and my husband was sad that I hadn't enjoyed the time with his sister.

This could not be farther from the truth. We hadn't had a terrible day and we had enjoyed ourselves.

Jen had been there to calm me down and reassure me when I didn't think I could take one more second of Gabo's cries. She watched Paddy for me while I nursed the baby.

I waited at the counter for Jen's food so she could feed her daughter. I pushed the stroller so she could carry her to the car. I picked up the baby's sock when it fell and retrieved the other from a stranger who was chasing after us with it.

Jen told my son he could pee in a parking lot instead of having an accident in the car.

If either of us had been alone that day it would have been terrible. We would have cried instead of laughing. Instead we were able to understand and support each other at the moments we needed it most.

Despite the chaos, we were able to laugh and truly enjoy our time together. And, in the end, we made it out with a story to tell.